I have about 15 minutes to write. Im in-between dinner and late night snack. Its the first 15 minutes I have had on a Friday or Saturday in weeks. 4 weeks to be exact. Friday and Saturday workday starts at 6:30 and ends at 10:30 with no break of any kind. Until now. The rest of the week seems so slippery I can't quite get my hands around it either. But tonight I have 15 minutes, so we are making progress!
I live in a commune with people who have chosen a lifestyle that is nontraditional. We serve together and live together. We don't all necessarily like each other and yet must learn a way of functioning as a Body, each affecting and effecting one another. I am in constant learning mode. Being a volunteer gave me only a 5% glimpse into what this kind of life is really like. Ok, maybe a 3%. Being on church staff with Doug gave me another 5%. But this, this, is a whole new ballgame.
Doug continues to be supportive, though at times he struggles with the, um, atmosphere. The other day he said that if the examples of workmanship around camp had been used when the tabernacle was built he was quite sure the ground would had opened up and sucked the workman inside... never to be seen again. Doug isn't much for a half done job. He sees the big picture though and thus wants to let this time serve its purpose in our family's life. Even if that means he can't sit up to do his work because he's spending yet another week on a bunkbed. He currently travels back and forth for his business consulting and ministry responsibilities - Dallas, Houston, Austin, Colorado. He still says he is sure we are where we need to be for this season.
As you can imagine we have already completed quite a few projects around here, spiffying up the place a bit. We have moved into two motel rooms here at camp (and decorated them doncha know), note the m in motel not the h in hotel. I don't think the cottage (scorpion cabin) is going to be ready before summer (read: we may be m-otelers for a few months). The girls are next to us but there is no door connecting our rooms. It feels odd to me, they think its great. They feel they have an apartment. The bathroom down the sidewalk (!!) is so hideous/dated I am redoing it myself. Instead of finding problems, I am trying to find solutions. Good stewardship in my time here may very well be using my design skills for the betterment of this place I love.
Peyton adores the barn and is thrilled with life here in general. She told me the other day that though she misses her dear friends in Colorado there has not been one moment when she has thought, "we could be in Colorado right now." She is content and a bigger help and blessing to me that I have the time to write out this very moment. I thank God for this time here with her…remember when I wrote on the homeschool blog about working side by side rather than face to face…mmmhmm.
Savannah has been asked to teach the 6-10 year old bible study for Mother Daughter camps. She glows when she talks about it and texts me pictures of her bible spread on the table as she prepares. She says it feels as if she were always meant for this. Indeed. We have morning coffee and walk to the gate and back, catching up each day, sharing thoughts and ideas each day, but I also know we are developing the rhythms of a momma with a child who has flown. Delight is the word that comes to mind each time I think of her.
I do not know if I enjoy this job or not. I enjoy the creativity of it and enjoy the ministry aspect. I enjoy being part of a team that is serving. In two weeks a 5 star Executive Chef is coming to cook with me for the day (story at another time) and Im looking forward to the artistic outlet that will provide, but Im not sure about the job. Or maybe a better way to say it is that Im not sure why in the world I am here. Really. I mean, who in the world saw this coming? Last week, as I stood with a convention center full of Austin restaurant chefs and boutique bakery owners, I thought to myself, "what in the world is going on? How did I get here, doing this? Im a camp cook? How am I even at this convention?" Im still a bit blindsided by it all, a bit whirl-a-gigged. And yet, there is this glimmer of something else that keeps catching my eye, a facet I haven't yet put my full focus on...but I know is here.
Im in process of hiring my helpers for the summer. College girls. I find that piece exciting beyond words. Not because they will help me, rather because I love that life stage so much in terms of walking alongside them. Odd that many are Savannahs friends.
I struggle to get my bible reading in so I have a bible app that reads to me as I work. I struggle to find time to write so I steal this 15 minutes out of 4 weeks and am content with it. I struggle to know what in the world I am doing here but…then I remember that struggle is just delayed obedience. I haven't yet learned how to Rest in my new surroundings and roles. I have very few rhythms, but they will come.
I get fussy when I forget that this is not about performance. As long as my eyes are on the Lord and His plans, I remain content and calm. Its easy to swing performance though.
Oh, and I have no time to take pictures. Yet.