In the packing process I found one of our old Christmas cards. I loved this card. I sat with it for a bit when I found it because I love it so. It perfectly captured that season of our lives with small children. These were the last days that I held Savannah on my hip and the last days that Peyton agreed with Savannah on everything, no matter what. Savannah had no bottom teeth and Peyton had only baby teeth. These were the days when we still read Miss Spiders New Car on a daily basis. Oh, and Jody's Beans. Our life was so nice and neat back then.
These were also the last days that I was comfortable.
These were the days when I began the daily bent knee prayers for our family to become what the Lord had in mind, regardless. Those prayers that became, two years later, for Him to take all from me that was not of Him, to leave a gaping hole for all to see, one that could only be filled by Him. These were the days when I began to open my fingers and let go, to wholly surrender it all, regardless. Regardless.
9 years ago. Really?
Gift of Faith. Blessing of Hope. Peace of His Love. I had no idea what these were when I picked the words for this card.
I actually remember doing an Internet search for Hallmark wording because I didn't know what in the world to say on the card. It sounded good, but I had no idea what it felt like (meant).
Tears are falling as I type this...
I know now.
Those were good days.
But these days hold a richness and satisfaction that those never, never knew.