Referring to the description I had just given of my day yesterday, of the 8 hours spent over coffee then hiking, then a lengthy, wordy picnic surrounded by mountains on one side and ancient sedimentary beds of red, blue, purple, and white sandstone on the other, referring to the untangling of heart knots with our near 15 year old as she sorted and filed her convictions, feelings and confusions of the day.
"No. Not once," I replied, smiling, as I traced the Big Dipper with my eyes.
He took my hand and something in me was restored. Vision remembered. Purpose painted. I am an instrument.
Many things she must hold close in this life season. Friends and even advisors find it easier to discourage her dreams than to fan their flame. Her choices of which universities to pursue make many uncomfortable, seem unattainable. Yet, she finds more Direction daily from her God.
I walk her on.
This Sabbath morning I watch the mountains that have seen so many of my tears. I remember sitting in this very place last August, crying out that I felt as though I were needing to lead these two young women, our daughters, over unmarked mountain trails (educationally) which I did not know myself. Independently leading each of them. I felt as though the challenges were so great, the path so hidden, and the fear rose high in me. I remember being calmed by the knowledge that I need not know the trail; I myself am also being Led.
He knows the Plans He has for our daughters, and for us. He knows. Plans to prosper us, not to harm us, Plans to give us a Hope and a Future. We are following Him. No need to look back, He has moved us on from all that is in the past. His Best is always ahead.
While He uses me in their lives now He also prepares me, intentionally trains me, for what will come in my life after I have walked them into adulthood. He is never doing only one thing at a time.
Again, I Rest.