The Big Thompson runs through this rugged mountain town. A river wild, I watch it now as I sit quieted in an indie coffee shop. Doug has taken the girls for truffles and window shopping, I've unexpectedly encountered a couple of hours of sanctuary: space to remember, reflect and anticipate.

Suddenly Im thinking of a Catholic priest I used to stand alongside weekly in an alley in Dallas. Strangers, we both volunteered each Wednesday to walk with girls who came to an abortion clinic. We walked their last 100 feet with them before they entered - speaking love not hate, hope not shame, anticipation not despair. We asked them to reconsider, to stop, to talk, to pray. Sometimes they did. Sometimes they didn't. Regardless, we loved on them. I adored that time.

Up until that life season I had never spent time with a priest. Honestly, we locked horns more than a few times....as opinionated people often do. But we had rooted common ground and we fast became friends. Respected friends.

Upon that blacktopped, filthy alleyway that priest taught me the prayer of examen - a  prayer that examines the day, consolations and desolations. It's a practice to see the elusive in the sometimes mundane. It trains you to be a steward of memory. Today I think upon that prayer. Somehow over these past few years I have stopped anticipating, somehow feeling anticipation was control. Tangled, snarled knots. But in this moment of sanctuary, smoky dark coffee and a river wild, I'm seeking all three dimensions of time: then, now and when.